When you were inside your mom's tummy,
your mom suffered the pain that you gave to her,
and you thanked her by kicking her all day long.


When you were 1 year old,
your mom celebrated the first birthday of you,
you thanked her by crying all day long.


When you were 2 years old,
your mom started teaching you how to talk,
you thanked her by saying ummmumumumumamamama.


When you were 3 years old,
your mom brought you to the park,
you thanked her by running around the pond, and chasing the ducks.


When you were 4 years old,
your mom bought you some toys,
you thanked her by breaking the toys on the next day.


When you were 5 years old,
your mom bought you a story book and read it to you,
you thanked her by ripping it piece to piece.


When you were 6 years old,
your mom sent you to the kindergarten, so that you can start making friends,
but you thanked her by fighting with your classmate.


When you were 7 years old,
your mom made you a very nice lunch for the first day of school,
you thanked her by throwing your foods around the class.


When you were 8 years old,
your mom handed you an ice cream,
you thanked her by dripping it all over your lap.


When you were 9 years old,
she paid for piano lessons,
you thanked her by never even bothering to practice.


When you were 10 years old she drove you all day,
from soccer to football to one birthday party after another,
you thanked her by jumping out of the car and never looking back.


When you were 11 years old,
she took you and your friends to the movies,
you thanked her by asking to sit in a different row.


When you were 12 years old,
she warned you not to watch certain TV shows,
you thanked her by waiting until she left the house.


When you were 13 years old,
she suggested a haircut that was becoming,
you thanked her by telling her she had no taste.


When you were 14, she paid for a month away at summer camp,
you thanked her by forgetting to write a single letter.


When you were 15, she came home from work, looking for a hug,
you thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.


When you were 16, she taught you how to drive her car,
you thanked her by taking it every chance you could.


When you were 17, she was expecting an important call,
you thanked her by being on the phone all night.


When you were 18, she cried at your high school graduation,
you thanked her by staying out partying until dawn.


When you were 19, she paid for your college tuition,
drove you to campus carried your bags. You
thanked her by saying good-bye outside the dorm
so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.


When you were 25, she helped to pay for your
wedding, and she cried and told you how deeply
she loved you. You thanked her by moving
halfway across the country.


When you were 50, she fell ill and
needed you to take care of her.
You thanked her by reading about
the burden parents become to their
children.


And then, one day, she quietly died.
And everything you never did came
crashing down like thunder on
YOUR HEART..


If you love your MOM & you thank her deeply,
repost this bulletin saying "I Cried Because Of This"

If you don't...
then you obviously don't care if your mom dies...

...

You never really think about it, do you?

*Sighs*

Not to sound cruel... But people have been dropping like flies.
First, a Friend of mine, Erik... Both his grandparents passed.

Then Metaller...

*Sighs*

Well, add my grandmother to the list.

The thing is, no one... Really cares. She was... Well, a bitch. A REAL bitch. Not even her own daughters are that bothered...

But I can't help but think... Am I a heartless bastard for not even feeling grief? For caring more about the berevements of my friends than my own family?

*Sighs*
it was a heart attack... Quick. She probably didn't even know what was happening.

Papa found her on the kitchen floor when he woke up... Only two or three hours ago, she had sent him to bed with a flu drink.

...

*SIghs again*

Anyway... Onto the Hisses part of the journal.


My brother has a snake. An honest to gods snake. It's for his christmas...


Thank god it's not poisonous. Because he "lost" it mere hours after he got it...

And blamed me the little...
*Curses*

What happened was, he placed fake grass of somethign into the tank... And the snake hid under it instead of its hides.
Now, as I was the last person to see it wriggle down into the grass, when my brother couldn't find it, he acused me of playing with it, dropping it, and not telling anyone.

Eventually, after MANY hours of arguing, I reached in, grabbed the wood (Log), moved aside the grass...

One sorry. Thats all I got. 1 sorry...


Little git...

*Sighs*

Parents. They have this... Ability. They know all the buttons to push to turn even the most hardened person into a blubbering wreck.

So. When they found out that I won't be getting any money this year. And that I have an overdraft to pay...

Well, naturally they went ballistic. They can pay me through University. But it will cost a lot of money that they were hoping to put by for an emergancy.

Guess who is that emergancy?

So. We're back on speaking terms at least. However, some rules now apply.

I have to cut my hair.
I have to get rid of my beard.
No more computer, so at University is the only place I can contact you all, and what with time difference, for those of you linked here from MSN, it means I might not be able to talk to you for...

Months.

*Shakes head*

At least we'll still have e-mails and notes...


*Sighs*

At least knowing I've got freinds like all of you cheering me on. And I know I'll have alot to catch up on when I eventually DO return.
*CHuckles*
Funny fact. Only the thought of all you prevented me from choosing a method of suicide.
My Dad's airgun?
One of the MANY knifes in the house, stright to the gut?
Stepping out onto the road? Probably at best just cripple myself, knowing my luck.
Ooh, stepping off a tall building... I'm on the fifth floor of one right now, and to get outside would be easy...

So... Yeah, thanks everyone. KNowing how many people I'd upset gave me... Well, thats a lie, it's not courage. It was cowadnace. I couldn't bare the thought of being responcible for such grief...

Due to a shock in my finances... Namely, there are no finances this year... I am now offering my writing services to the general public.

The majority of my work is shown in my gallery, and I am pleased to anounce that I have greatly improved since my last posting.

A general cost for my writing would be around £2 per page, perhaps more if the subject matter is something I do not actuall like. However, I assure you, no matter how I think, I will put just as much effort into the comission as I would my own work.

If you are interested in a comission, please include the subject matter, any characters you would like, anything you would like me to avoid and whether or not you would like it to be posted online afterwards. I will send regular update reports about the story.

Note: ANY subject matter is taken in. Including mature items. For more examples of my mature items, please see my Yiffstar account : [link]

Stole from , and he graciously gave me five words to describe me.

Reply to this post by yelling "Words!" and I will give you five words that remind me of you. Then post them in your journal and explain what they mean to you.


Okay... First word : Wolf

*Chuckles*
Well, I'm naturally biased here... Strong, loyal, protective... Canines are among the few animals that will give their own lives to protect another of their pack. How could you not respect a creture like that? Also, they are highly attractive beasts.

Second word : Games

*Blushes*
Okay, I'll admit it, I love games... Mostly fantasy and Sci Fi. They offer all of us a chance to be a hero, if only in our own minds. They help us to forget the real world for an hour or two, and all the troubles in it. How could you not prefer a game to the real world (Except sports games, I just don't get that at all)

Third Word : Happiness

*Smiles*
Now, most people here could tell you, I want to make others happy. I want to be able to take away the paina nd grief in their lives, or at least try to ease it. Give them a reminder that things can improve. I'm not always successful, but if I can make at least one person smile, then I consider my life a success.

Forth Word : Kindness

*Thinks*
Well, I'd like to think that I'm a kind soul, but... Well, we're all selfish inside I guess. But, that being said, kindness for kindness's sake is a rare thing. Whenever I see it, or hear about it, I can't help but smile. And wonder, whether I'm truly so selfless.

Fifth Word : Laughter

*Chuckles*
As anyone who knows me can tell you, I love to laugh (One word of advice, don't make me laugh during meals unless you WANT rice sprayed everywhere) and I love to make others laugh, though I'm not too great with the jokes. After all, isn't laughter and music the voices of the soul?